unfast food
--Nov 25, 2004

Well, it happened again today. We made the mistake of waiting until we were actually hungry to find a restaurant. Bad idea; food service is generally quite slow here.

	quick! serve the American! We were patiently waiting to pay for some take home treats at our local indoor/outdoor café the other day, when the waiter rushed in from outside somewhat flustered. She said to the woman working the counter, “Get this order to the kitchen right away.” The woman at the counter responded, “Let me just ring this up first,” referring to our small order of groceries, which had already inexplicably occupied her for quite some time. The waiter looked somewhat exasperated and pleaded, referring to her outdoor patron, “But she’s AMERICAN!” This seemed to tip the scales, and the woman at the counter promptly stopped what she was doing and dealt with the American’s order. When she returned, she tallied our groceries, starting at the beginning again. It was tempting moment… “We trump your American with a DOUBLE American – service now! We demand it!” Obviously, that’s not what we did. No worries – we were happy to wait and a bit embarrassed, reflecting on what the rest of the world might think of American tourists and why American tourists think that service from around the world should be the same as at home. We’ve taken it to heart and make an effort to be extra courteous to wait staff around the world.. Besides, it gives us something good to write about.

It makes us realize how “American” we are; we like to enjoy a leisurely meal with the best of them, but once in a while we want our food fast. In this case, we chose a burrito place (being from California, the epicenter of American burritos, we wanted to see what a South African burrito was like). The sign above the door read “Good Food Fast.” So we walked in and ordered. There were two tiny tables to sit down, but it was so bloody hot from the nearby kitchen that we waited outside. That wasn’t the greatest idea either since it isn’t the best part of town (loitering around outside a dive-ish restaurant door is bound to make you a target for whoever walks by). So, due to the lack of a good place to hang out while our burritos were assembled, we were disappointed to end up waiting over half an hour. Burritos just aren’t that complicated. Maybe they sent someone out of the country to actually fetch them or something. (Oh, and by the way, if you ever go to South Africa, there is no need for you to sample the burritos.)

Another funny example is a restaurant whose marketing ploy is that the time it takes from when you order lunch until when you get your bill is only 59 minutes! Compare this to a nifty little restaurant back in San Francisco that will serve you a hot sandwich and salad in 5 minutes or it’s free, and… well, it’s no comparison. Heck, compare it to any restaurant where Americans eat during their lunch hour and it doesn’t stand up so well. The funny thing is, the 59-minute claim only references when you get your bill – your food may take 50 of those minutes to arrive.

The point of all this being that either a) South Africans really don’t ever have the need (or the desire?) to get their food fast, or b) there’s an incredible business opportunity for somebody to introduce the idea of fast-yes-we-really-mean-it-food here. After some debate (and continued experiences at places ranging from nice restaurants to coffee shops), we think it’s (a).